December : Excavating your inner resources. Tips to support your mental health this holiday season.

December is a time, at least here on the East Coast, where the nights are long and temperatures drop. It is a challenging time for so many of us. A time where society, media, and culture heaps on expectations. It's supposed to be joyous, cozy, nostalgic. That is not the case for so many. This can be a time where loss feels sharper, traumas resurface, and substance use is at an all time high. My goal is to offer you some ways to turn inward and rewrite this season for yourself.

I have been reflecting on the idea of inner resources. I have been challenging myself to acknowledge and understand that I have all I need already if I just turn in, and listen. All of the nurturing we need, the salve for our bruised soul can be uncovered by asking simple questions. A choice to breathe before you react can foster the ability to make healthier choices. It can foster trust in yourself. Here are a few simple steps to guide you to your inner warmth this season.

1. Know your warning signs.

My body is my center for information. When I feel uncomfortable or triggered I notice everything tense, and move upwards. As if my body can no longer abide by the rules of gravity. That indicator allows me the opportunity to breathe into the floor and reground. I invite you to take some time to journal your warning signs. What do you notice in your body, breath, and behavior?

2. Ask Questions.

What do I need right now? Do you need to relax your shoulders, Breathe into the ground, end this conversation, or leave this environment? Whatever the answer is honor it and know that you have the right to choose self-care. Always.

Try it out right now. Ask yourself , What do I need?

Journal the response, and find a way to show up.

3. Create your own rituals.

What activities make you feel special? How can you honor the ending of the year? I am a sucker for reflection. I love creating space to look back upon this year, collect my lessons, honor my work, and offer gratitude back into the universe. I make art about it, I journal. Those are things that work for ME. I am asking you to discover what works for YOU.

If you miss someone you have lost, can you create a space to honor them? If you are sober and feeling triggered, can you buy or make yourself a gift for every win you had this year.

Does it feel really good to take a long walk and listen to the songs that moved you this year.

If you are sad can you just sit with your sadness.

Identify something that resonates with you, and make space for it this month.

4. Set Social Boundaries.

Know it is Okay to say NO.

This time of year is known to be a full social calendar. Holiday parties, work dinners etc. Check in with your feelings, and be realistic about what feels good for you. If you are feeling depleted and need some alone time I am giving you full permission to cancel that plan without apologies. Something as simple as, "I thank you for the invitation, but this week is not good for me. Let's connect another time." is all you need to offer. It is also Okay to change your mind. If you previously committed to something, and need to cancel that's Okay too. "I won't be able to make the party tonight. Wishing you a lovely evening. "

You do not need to make excuses or apologize for making a self care choice.

5. Create comfort in simple ways.

For me nothing says comfort like a soft, cozy material. If you can not control your environment, you can control how you enter it. Something as simple as wearing an outfit that makes you feel gloriously held. Swishy, comforting materials are one of my secret weapons for demanding social engagements.It allows me to be in my skin, and minimizes any unnecessary anxiety around appearance.

If you return home from an evening that has triggered anxiety, or uncomfortable feelings, change your clothes. Create a moment of transition, and step into nurturing mode. Brew yourself a cup of tea, sip slowly and intentionally. Warm yourself from within.